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Computer addiction and your kids.

It’s been a long time since I wrote about my kids and their computer addiction. The first time I wrote about the problem was three plus years ago. My two oldest teens were staying up to 4 in the morning after went to sleep. They were getting unsocial, grades were slipping and they weren’t going out anymore.

I took the computers away except for school and never in their room. The computer addiction was quite apparent at this time. They were screaming, slamming doors and sleeping a lot. We talked a lot with them at this point. They weren’t happy but started to come out of their room. What came out of their mouth, made me want them back in their room but it slowly got better. They literally transformed to much more enjoyable kids again.

In the words of Marshall Mclewen, our society is becoming a nation of vidiots. But I don’t think even Marshall could have predicted the computer addiction of today. To you parents, who have young children, do yourself, and your children, a favor. Keep their computer in a public room so you can monitor their time and content. I would highly suggest the computer should only be for educational endeavors. For you parents, of teens, use the same rule. Keep their computer in a public area. No computer, during the week for anything but school stuff. On the weekend, only let your teens have an agreed upon time frame for using the computer.

Computer addiction is insidious and all around you. Your child’s growth is partly based on real socializing with you and their peers face to face. Create the computer rules of the house so it empowers your children to grow.

Good luck,

Dr. Bocknek

Computer addiction in our kids has become a huge problem in the family.  Although computer addiction and computer game addiction are not exactly the same thing, for this discussion we will treat them as such in this blog.

The first point in understanding  how we develop into having a computer addiction or a computer game addiction is to understand, we are what we do. We are not fixed as one one way or one behavior our entire life.  If we were we would be the same person at 10 years old as we are at 40 years old.  So, if we are what we do then we are most likely to become what we spend the most time doing.  Does this make sense?  Therefore, if our teens spend most of their free time on the computer, they have a huge potential to developing a computer addiction.

The second point is why is spending a lot of time on the computer a bad thing. It is bad because our teens and children are like sponges.  Everything they get exposed to gets absorbed.  For parents, who are concerned about the negative effects of too much computer,  you have a right to be.  You, as parents, I’m sure want to be the backbone of your children’s moral and ethical persona.  That’s why you are careful who your children play with and who your teens hang out with.  In the past, you felt safe when your kids were home.  The computer has taken that safety away.  If not carefully monitored computer addiction is a real possibility.

Symptoms of computer addiction are a loss of control to being on and lying about how much time they are on.  Anger when the parent sets limits to the time being spent on the computer.  The parent finds despite being punished the child is still breaking the rules.  Lower grades.  Shorter temper with parents when asked about what they were doing on the computer.

What to do about computer addiction. Your child or teen doesn’t need to be diagnosed as a computer addict or computer game addict by an expert for you to do something about it.  If you feel your child or teen is exhibiting any of the above symptoms or you would just rather they go out and play or read a book, facilitate change.  You, as the parent are the moral and ethical backbone of the family if you choose to be.  If you don’t do anything then you are choosing not to be.

Five Steps to handling computer addiction:

1) Set how much time they can be on.

2) Enforce the rules

3) Their door must be open when they are on the computer

4) If necessary, use child block soft ware to limit what they can see.

5) If they won’t follow the rules, take the computer out of their room and put it in a common room so you can watch them.

Computer addiction can be a real problem with children and teen social development.  It doesn’t have to be.

Dr. Robert Bocknek is “the problem solving expert for families”.  For questions regarding computer addiction or other important family problems see his sight at takebackthehome.com or soon to be at keyboardculture.com.