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I was talking America today with another gentleman and the person I was speaking with kept basing his argument on how the rest of the world doesn’t like us. At first I thought he had a point… but then I started remembering  being a teenager again and what happened to me when I spent too much time trying to be liked.  I thought of all the stupid situations, the trouble and embarrassment I got myself into.  Then I said to him, we don’t need to care if the rest of the world likes us.  We are the backbone of the world.  Only we, America, because of our youth, are not stuck to some old cultural predjudice that dictates the kind of hate that we see in Northern Ireland, with the Croates and the Serbs, the Hutus and the tutsis etc.

I’m not saying old culture is bad, in fact, au contrare, it is that we, America, are in my opinion the best of what those old cultures have to offer.  We are an accumulation of people who were cheated, stolen from, persecuted by our homeland.  The people who made it to America aren’t just brave people who left their homeland.  We are adventurers, intelligent, revolutionary.  We are the center of all that the world can be and should be.  Our failures are much more important to the world because of who we are.  We may have bad leaders, have bad periods of time and make awful decisions but we are all that the world has to turn to against the tyranny of the likes or the Iranian regime, or of Putin, or the taliban or Al Queda.  I believe, subconsciously, those other countries see us as their child with all their hope of the future on our shoulders. Our failures are their failures.  It is so painful to watch us falter, they yell at us.  But like all parents, when the child grows up,  they come to realize we don’t need their guidance anymore and in fact are a bit resentful that we don’t follow them.  Good parents, at some point, come to realize maybe the child can actually guide the parents since they have grown up.  Bad parents never see the light.

Look what the Europeans do when Russia invades Georgia.  They do what they always have done…nothing.  Russia is still inside of Georgia despite agreeing to leave.  They will stay there until America pushes them out.  We as Americans need to stop worrying about what other countries like or dislike about us.  As with aging parents, some stay dynamic and can be guiding post to the child throughout their life.  Some aging parents are just adults who stopped growing a long time ago and are becoming the child whom need to be cared for.  I believe that’s what these other countries have become.

Rather than worry about being liked, we, as American families need to begin to raise up ourselves and fill the higher calling that being American requires. We need to  look at what our narcissistic, integrity void government, and business practices have brought the world to in these recent weeks.

We as individuals need to regain that positive can do attitude. Only then can we expect to be able to bring up a leader who we can respect, who can call us forth.  In our own families we need to ask ourselves are we living with integrity.  As parents are we teaching our children our values or are we leaving it up to Youtube and Myspace.

As parents do we need to be liked by our children? NO!!! We hope our children like us but we need to be respected first.  Is our goal to be our children’s friend or their leader?  Do we not sometimes have to make decisions for our children that they really hate because it is the right thing to do, not just for them but for the entire family?

I believe we first need to raise our own bar in the family.  Parents have to stop the 60s guilt of trying to be nice.  Love your kids, love your spouse.  Be a superstar in your family.  Don’t worry about being liked by your kids.  When you are on your game they will respect you and feel safe with you and trust you.  Then, you will be able to guide them.  Only then can they truly like you.

As with the family, America doesn’t need to be liked. First it needs to be respected then the rest will follow.  If we as Americans can’t create positive change than which country do we turn to? We know the answer to that question.  No one.  So when you get one of those moments when you feel like hating America, think what you can do today to facilitate your family to be better and live it.

I am sitting here this morning and realizing how completely out of order , our nation and I suspect the world is.  I went to bring some turkeys to the local food bank last wednesday morning and they were so excited that I was bringing them.  I thought there would be lines of people getting ready to donate for the holidays.  As of 8:30 am no one had come.  They were so thankful to me.  Of course, I felt great for the giving, but then they asked me what made me bring them.  I told them I thought this year would be extra hard so I wanted to do something.  I asked if a lot of people brought food and they said no.  They got a lot of calls but typically there isn’t a lot of follow through.  This really got me to thinking.

Many Americans are waiting for the government to play their role to fix our problems. We are waiting for this miracle cure from them.  I sat in astonishment listening to people tell me how the republicans screwed everything up and how we needed a change and how Obama would be the face of that change.  I kept listening to how he was going to be doing things differently and now am watching him fill his cabinet with mostly Bill Clinton cabinet people.  This got me thinking on two things; the first being aren’t people pissed off that it is more of the same, (not the big change as promised), and the second being, if it is more of the same… has America got a case of ADD?  Before the election, change was seen as so critical that we didn’t care what the change would be.  Hence, no one cared that we were willing to elect a man, who during the primaries, people in his own party thought was too inexperienced to be president.  Then when he doesn’t do anything new we don’t care anyway.  Probably, in the not to distant future those same people will be complaining that government didn’t fix their problem. It’s unbelievable!

The aim of this article is not to whine that Obama won.  The aim is to make people realize that the government was elected by us, and  because of corruption in both parties we were screwed.  We can’t come to any other conclusion except that.  Furthermore, the only solution for us is for your own family to take responsibility for your problems.  Government is the worst  reflection of us.  Their selling us out at every level it is a reflection of a lack of integrity that is pervasive in our society.  So if we are waiting for them to solve our problems  we can’t possibly recover.  People listen, government’s only job should be to protect us from evil entities like the leaders in Iran, Russia and Venezuela and to keep ethics high in business by writing good laws that protect consumers and prosecuting people who break those laws.  That includes people within the government.  So since they can’t be counted on to protect us from corruption we just need to be sure they stop spending our money, that we work so hard for.  Our goal, then, for government is to stop reflecting the worst of us and start to reflect the best of us.

How do we get the government to reflect the best of us? Its a trick question.  They never will.  But, here’s the thing.  If we, in our own family, start to behave with a higher level of ethics society will reflect that.  The candidates who rise from a more ethical society will be a product of that better society and hence will be a better government.

How do we begin? If you’ve read some of the previous blogs on parenting or have taken some of our courses or heard a Dr. Robert lecture you will already have a framework with which to proceed.

Lets create some basic steps to live by.  Go to church, synagogue, temple, mosque on a frequent basis.  For you non g-d believing people (I don’t know why you would want to be but that’s your choice), you have a harder path to tread.  Notice, I say go to your place of worship frequently.  Why frequently?  Because you are who you hang out with.  If most people you know go you will go more and it will just be a part of your life.  When you go, focus on the higher power, not on socializing, not on how you have to save others.  This will go against what many of you believe.  But listen to this; G-d is all knowing, all powerful and we can’t know why he does what he does.  What we can definitely know is that G-d gave us teachings of how to live our lives, how to treat others and how to behave in society.  Find ways to find commonality with other groups, not divisive points.  People only follow by example, not by preaching.  You will know you are becoming this higher self by the people you find attracted to you.  I warn you though, going on the weekend to services and then having an affair, or gossiping about others or doing unethical things at work or watching others do unethical things during the week is at best a one step forward-one step backward endeavor.  Remember, our kids are always watching us.  We may not be able to affect how someone in the next city is behaving but we can always be a guiding light in our own family.  Be appreciative whenever the opportunity arises.  Appreciation opportunities are arising constantly if you are looking for them.  Be giving.  Live with the concept of abundance, not shortage.  This means others don’t have to lose in order for you to win.  Look for the win-win,  not the win-lose or compromise solution.  No one is ever happy with compromise. In short,

STEPS TO HIGHER ETHICS IN THE FAMILY

1) Be the beacon of light.

2) Be appreciative.

3) Acknowledge others for their actions, (verbally and physically), often.

4) Find ways to find commonality,not differences.

5) Don’t complain without first looking for a solution.

6) In a tough situation, think, what is the best thing I can do right now.

In closing, your family is the answer to the nation’s recovery so be part of the solution and not the problem.  On a regular basis, be the best you.  Vote for people who are the most ethical.  Be abundant.

Cheers, Dr. Robert

You may be thinking in this economy about how to save money. That is an excellent thing to do.  In this economically uncertain time it is critical you save every dime you can.  As I mentioned in a previous post, this year especially, I highly recommend that you spend much more time with family and less time shopping.  This year may very well be the year you talk about for the rest of your life.  If you’re old enough it may be your year that is similar to your grandparent’s stories of how bad it was back in the old country or how bad it was during the depression.  But this conversation isn’t about how bad your life is going to be. Its about how to enrich your family life during stressful times.

This is a time to look within yourself and see what you can do for people who really have nothing for Thankgiving or the Holidays.  It doesn’t have to be allot.  It needs to be what you can do.  For instance, two of our boys work at the local supermarket and are given a couple of ten pound turkeys.  We are going to give them to the local food bank.  We are also going to look in our pantry for any old can of something we bought that no one is likely to use or may use but we really can afford to give it up.

If you can’t give anything or don’t want to, donate some of your time to serve food at the local food bank. If you have never done something like this you don’t know what you are missing.  Giving to a cause that has no seeming benefit to you pays you back ten fold.  If you want to really have a great thankgiving just try giving.  It will make watching the football games or the Macy’s parade seem like the waste of time that it is.

For your family,  as you donate stuff or your time, bring your kids. Let your children see the bounty they themselves have.  As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, the key to solid relationships is the appreciation and acknowledgment of others in your life.  For those of you having difficulty communicating with your children donating or volunteering will give you and them a chance to step out of your rocky relationship and alter it.  What I mean by this is, in bad communications someone is usually breaking someone else’s rules.  An example of rule breaking could be your child breaking your rules by getting bad grades or not doing their chores or cleaning their room.  For the child, it may be they feel like you are going in their room without their permission.  What ensues after a rule break is an argument until the rules aren’t being percieved as being broken anymore.  What doing the donation does is take you guys out of that dynamic and puts you in a situation where you are on the same team, working together to help others.  What happens then is you get to see each other in a more positive, non confrontational situation with each other.  If your child refuses to go or doesn’t want to go…explain to them how we really need to help some people and thank the other volunteers for taking their time.    Also mention to your child often that you want to somehow make a bridge with them how you really feel bad about the discomfort between you.  Ask them to “please come with you and how much you would appreciate it”. Often when you or your children see these other volunteers donating their time it will call your child forward to participate.  Nothing but good can come from these moments.  When trying to create bridges with your child you need to be thick skinned.  They are children and often haven’t learned the restraint that comes with time.

When you feel like you have tried everything to get into better communication with your child realize there are always other avenues you haven’t come up with yet.  Donation and volunteering may be that avenue.  You can also try being a big brother or sister.  Years ago I was listening to an interview with Tony Robbins where someone was telling him how their business was bad and how he had tried everything to get his business moving.  Tony said “You tried everything”?  The man replied he had.  So Tony said ” ok, let me hear your top 30 marketing attempts or strategies that you have used”.  And the man replied he didn’t have that many.  Tony then said ” you haven’t tried everything, you just didn’t try the right one yet”.   So when you have reached your threshold with your children, always realize there are always other ideas to bridge that gap.

Take Back the Home Foundation is designed to help you with your family.  Don’t waste any time, contact us and see what we can do for you and your family.  Cheers, Dr. Robert.

The recent events in the economy have lead me to revisit a talk I haven’t given in quite some time.

We, as families, need to rely on ourselves and not the Government. When we start to think we are going to be taken care of.  When we think someone else can solve our problems.  When we blame someone else for our problems, we are in big trouble.  If you think about it, choosing anyone but ourselves for our current situation can only lead to one finality.  That finality is that you are helpless to dig yourself out.  You have given control of your life to total strangers.  If you don’t agree with what I’m saying now, let’s do a test.  Would you rather get your Doctor or Chiropractor from the yellow pages or from a referral from some trusted family member.  Would you rather have the government determine how much you can make based at work or would you rather make money based on your hard work and what someone is willing to pay you.  If you would rather have the government decide you should try living in North Korea or Cuba.  I say this because, those two countries still do it that way.  In case you haven’t noticed even China is making a massive push into self reliance.  Look at the results in that country when the government there got out of the way.  In fact in China, the only thing you hear about the Chinese government is about corruption, their involvement in Darfur, arming that government to slaughter its own citizens, or its attacking Tibet or harassing Taiwan.  Look what has happened in Russia since Putin decided to recommunist the country.  Almost all foreign investment has started to pull out of that country.  And they are starting to look like the evil empire again.

If you are thinking, well that’s there and not here.…wasn’t this last election about blaming the government for our economic mess.  People were jumping on screaming about the republican party making it so only poor people and middle class pay taxes.  No one wanted to look at that the biggest contributors in the election were the hedge fund managers, who made billions, and uniformly gave to the democrats, not the republicans.  The second largest contributor to president-elect Obama was the head of FannyMae and Barney Frank was sleeping with one of the heads of FreddieMac.

If you  knew how little congress works and making $160,000 per year, you would be sick.  If you haven’t read Dick Morris’ book “Fleeced” you must so you can see how both sides of the isle in government are taking so much of what you have for nothing.

I want to fire you up.  I want you to read the blogs on family that I have already posted and will to continue to post. There is no more important time to spend time with your family.  There is no more important time to bond with your family.  There is no more important time than now to make sure your children are doing as well as possible in school, that you are scheduling meetings with their teachers to see how you can help them do better.  There is no better time than now to share with your children how hard you are working to make sure they have a roof over their heads and putting food in their mouths. There is no better time than now to share with your children how much you love them and how proud you are of them when they do great in school and in sports and when they falter they pick themselves back up again.

If this sounds like cheerleading…It is.  I want your family to succeed.  I, and everyone of your fellow countrymen need your family to succeed because if you are not part of the country’s solution you will inevitably be part of the country’s problem.

Contact us, ask about how Take Back the Home can help your family, church, affiliation.

Good luck, keep reading,           Doctor Robert

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